June 2009

“You had me at pork…”

by porktastic on June 30, 2009

Oh Jerry, you had me at pork...

That’s our dream: for people to cut us off in mid-sentence and stop us before we even get to the “tastic” part. A simple one-liner delivered with passion, purpose, and of course, pork.

Ambitious? You bet.

Achievable? With your help…definitely.

Like anyone with big dreams, we find ourselves drifting into “what if” mode every now and then. What if we could’ve infused pork in all the right places? Just think of what the world would’ve been saying – and singing:

George Costanza: “George likes his chicken pork spicy.”

“I’d like to buy the world a Coke [pork] loin…”

“Come and play, everything’s A-Okay pork today…”

SpongeBob PorkChops

But instead of wallowing in what we cannot change, consider this:

You like to talk. Occasionally you get excited. You like to share that excitement. You like to use interesting adjectives to illustrate your infectious, happy-go-lucky mood. However, you’re in dire need of a signature line…one that soon everybody is picking up.  Great, swell and wonderful just aren’t cutting it. Fantastic is close…but we ask you, a “FAN” of what?

Take the PORKTASTIC vernacular challenge.

Drop all mediocre, half-baked descriptors and substitute with the provocative and conversation-starting PORKTASTIC!

Here’s how it works in everyday conversation.

Hey, did you get my e-mail?

[Your reply] I did. And let me tell you…it was Porktastic.

These Funyuns taste, like, way stale…

[Your reply] That is so not Porktastic.

Dude, can you bowl for Carl tonight? He’s got the meat sweats again.

[Your reply] Gladly. But let Carl know the cure for meat sweats is a trip to Porktastic.com.

Okay, this last entry with the added .com is for those who really feel comfortable elevating their game. But something tells me you’ll be there in no time. This is as simple as microwaving bacon.

What are you waiting for? Encourage your pals to take the Porktastic Vernacular Challenge. To uphold our end of the bargain, know that we’ll be working overtime to get McDreamy to drop a Porktastic line next season in hopes that we’ll crack prime time awareness.

If that fails, we’ll downgrade to Dwight Schrute.

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Skewer This: The Pork Kebab Trifecta

by porktastic on June 26, 2009

pork kebabs

Pork. Bacon. Summer sausage. All grilled to perfection on a stick.

Does life really get any better than this?

This concoction is for the certified pork fanatic and is the first in our series of “Porktastic Nine” recipes. Intersperse with red onion and bell peppers and you’ve got a winning meal. In fact, we’ll place our own bet that the neighbors will be crowding around your grill in record time. Be sure to mix up your marinades, from sweet and sour to spicy teriyaki.  Below we employ a simple honey-citrus barbeque glaze. Ahh, summer.

Ingredients

  • 6 (12-inch) skewers (if metal they will get hot; if bamboo, soak in water to avoid burning)
  • 6 slices bacon, cut into one-inch pieces
  • 4 summer sausages, sliced to one-inch pieces
  • 1-2 lb. pork loin, cut into six equal strips, then cube
  • 1/2 large red onion, cut into one-inch pieces
  • 1 bell pepper (red, green and/or yellow), cut into 1 1/2-inch pieces
  • 1 cup honey barbeque sauce
  • 1/4 cup orange juice

Directions

Brush cooking oil to your grate prior to grilling to avoid sticking.

Cook bacon pieces about 1 minute (microwave or pan) before adding to skewer. Drain before skewering.

Alternate applying meats and vegetables on skewer until fully loaded.

Add orange juice to honey barbeque sauce to add citrus flavor and slightly thin the sauce. Brush on kebabs.

Place skewers on hot oiled grill (medium heat) and 15-20 minutes, turning often.

Brush kebabs with barbeque glaze with each turn.

Remove from skewer and enjoy.

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The Porktastic Nine

June 24, 2009

There are thousands of pork recipes out there. Really, we’re not joking. We find that we can carry about nine comfortably in our brain’s knapsack. Nine. We like nine. We think you will too. Pop in often during the next couple of weeks as we build our infamous list of nine Porktastic recipes. We’ll be sharing outrageously [...]

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(Nearly) Intoxicating Pulled Pork Sandwiches

June 23, 2009

Look, we know you’ve got things to do. Places to go. People to see. So we’ve adapted this slow cooker recipe to our own liking. We call it “nearly” intoxicating because we employ root beer instead of the real deal. When this magnificent concoction is shreddin’ ready, trust us when we say we think you’ll [...]

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This year, make Father’s Day Porktastic

June 19, 2009

Dad. The grill master. Mr. Marinade. Surely your man of the house loves pork as much as we do. So do him a favor – forgo the tie and electric nose trimmer this year. We suggest you light his fire with one of these Porktastic gestures that says, “I know, I know, it’s about you…but [...]

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10 craziest products inspired by bacon

June 4, 2009

10. Mr. Bacon vs. Monsieur Tofu Action Figures 9. Bacon air freshener 8. Bacon jelly beans 7. Bacon gumballs 6. Bacon-flavored toothpicks 5. Bacon-flavored mints 4. Bacon-flavored dental floss 3. Bacon wallet 2. Bacon watch And, the craziest product inspired by bacon is… 1. Bacon bandages.

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Honey, if you want that pork chop…eat it!

June 1, 2009

Celebrity cook Paula Deen has heard enough of the myths and misinformation surrounding the safety of pork since the H1N1 flu virus was detected in Mexico recently (PR Newswire, 5/7/09). You go, Paula! “There’s a lot of people that’s been affected by this,” Deen said. “It also affects our pork farmers, our truck drivers, our [...]

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